The Revealed Read online

  My attention snaps to him and then to the clock. I need to get home.

  Elias extends his hand. “It was nice meeting you. Hopefully we’ll be seeing you again soon.”

  “Yes,” I agree. My cheeks are flushed, and I feel light with energy.

  Kai drapes his arm around my shoulder, and we walk out to the parking lot comfortably in sync with one another. We get into his car and head back to my house.

  “So can I see you again tomorrow?” he asks as we pull up to the gate.

  “I have class,” I say, falling easily into my skeptical nature.

  “On Sunday?”

  I look over at him and just as quickly wish I hadn’t. I avert my eyes. “I don’t think so.”

  “Alright, what about next Saturday?” he asks but doesn’t give me time to answer. “Saturday at five o’clock it is. I’ll take you on a real date this time. To dinner. So wear something nice.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

  I clear my throat. “I said I don’t—”

  His hand covers mine, and I repeat my mistake. My eyes glance over to his. He holds my stare.

  Then he replaces his hand with his lips and for a moment, I’m his. He captures my mouth, wrapping my hair in his fist so he can pull me closer. I shiver in surprise, but sink into his hold. Desire coils in my stomach. It’s hard to breathe again, but not in an uncomfortable way. I’ll never breathe again if I can be close to him like this always.

  Crap.

  I pull away.

  “This is a bad idea,” I say, my voice shaky with the emotions that kiss left behind.

  “You only think that because it’s what your parents tell you.” There’s that playful sparkle in his eyes. His thumb grazes across my lips.

  But the smile fades from my face. It’s a bad idea because I trust Kai, and no matter how much I try to fight it, it’s like my body has some internal signal I can’t figure out how to turn off. And until I do, it’s pushing me to make decisions that aren’t safe. I can’t trust myself right now.

  I move to get out of the car, but Kai’s grip on my hand tightens. When I look back his eyes are filled with determination and resolve. His hand moves from mine and cups my face. His rough fingers run down the line of my jaw. I’m so lost in his gaze that I don’t even realize how close he is until he speaks, and I feel his breath across my lips.

  “Saturday night.”

  It isn’t a question. But he’s asking so much of me. More than just dinner, he’s asking for me to let him in. He’s asking me to be vulnerable. As if I’m not already so lost. I’m so far down that deep, dark hole, scrambling for purchase, when it’s clear I’m already going to fall all the way down. And as all of these thoughts swirl through my mind, they suddenly dissipate because all I can focus on are the sharp lines of his jaw and the warmth from his hands and the way his eyes are staring at me like I’m completely exposed.

  “Someone will see us.” My voice has transformed into this low whisper because all the air leaves my chest as I gape at him, and he stares back. It only makes everything feel more intimate.

  “So?”

  “So, what about the cameras?”

  “I can fix that.” His eyes light with the challenge, but he doesn’t pull away from me. “It’s going to happen eventually. People are going to catch on whether we hide or not. Say yes.”

  All I see are green and gold.

  And I realize that in my daze, I just nodded my consent.

  He drops his hands, and I try to keep from stumbling as I walk to the gate. The line along my jaw where his hands were resting continues to burn.

  Kai waits to make sure I get inside the house alright before he drives back to the main road. Once I know he’s out of sight, I take a deep breath. I just lost that battle. And the war isn’t looking so promising either. Judging by the way my heart is still pounding in my chest, I’m already done for. The worst part is I’m not upset. Not even a little. My self-control was my most-valuable weapon, and now it’s crumbled with a simple touch from Kai’s hands. My emotions are rushing in, clouding my mind. And I don’t even try to hide the smile that curls on my lips as I walk inside.

  CHAPTER NINE

  I do everything in my power to push away thoughts of Saturday, but my attempts are useless. Especially because I can’t keep away the thoughts of our kiss—his hands in my hair, the heat from his body so close to mine, his lips needy but gentle, like he was holding back, like there was so much for him to discover.

  I suffer through my tutorials, finish Wuthering Heights, master a piece on the piano, work on my French conjugations (not too successfully), and plug in equations for calculus. I dedicate myself to my schoolwork, hoping that it will get me through the week faster, but Kai is never far from my mind.

  I’ve never been on a real dinner date before. The idea of dressing up and going out makes me bite my bottom lip to suppress a preteen squeal that threatens to leap out of my throat.

  When Saturday evening finally does arrive, I watch from my balcony, waiting to see his car. My hands run down my thighs, smoothing the lines of my simple black dress. It’s cut low in the front, flaunting my curves in just the right ways. When the seamstress finished the garment, my mother forbade me from wearing it. She said it was too revealing for a girl of my stature and age. I secretly kept it in the back of my closet. I never thought I’d have a use for it, but tonight I’m going to dinner wearing it. For the first time in my life, I feel truly beautiful. And it isn’t just the dress. Something inside me is changing. There’s an awareness that wasn’t there before. My reflection doesn’t seem so distant anymore.

  Impatiently, I stare out at the fence in the distance, and then glance back at the clock.

  The clocks, which had seemed to be moving so slowly all week, quickly begin to tick off minutes as the hour of our date approaches. First ten minutes pass, then fifteen … then a half an hour … and an hour.

  His car doesn’t appear at the gate.

  I call his phone, but it goes straight to voicemail.

  Kai’s never been late before.

  I call his phone again but get voicemail just like before.

  Maybe there was a miscommunication. Maybe he said Sunday instead of Saturday? Maybe he was waiting for me a little farther down the road, and I just couldn’t see his car from my window. Maybe he couldn’t get his camera app thing to work and so he had to ditch Plan A, and he’s trying to figure out a Plan B to get me out of the house.

  I grab for my bag and start to head out, but my mother meets me at the top of the stairs.

  “Lilith.”

  “I’m going out.”

  “Lilith.”

  “Mom, stop trying to stop me.” I try to skirt around her, but she’s in front of the stairs blocking my path like a goalie.

  I heave a sigh and drop my arms. “Mom you’ve got to stop trying to….”

  She’s holding her phone tightly in one hand. Her eyes narrow sharply, and deep lines embed her forehead, aging her significantly.

  “What?” I ask.

  “I just got off the phone with your father.”

  “So? Mom, I’m late to meet Kai.” I try to dodge her again, and this time I’m able to get past. I trot down the stairs.

  “You aren’t meeting Kai, Lily.” Her voice is so soft I almost miss the words. She referred to me as Lily. I freeze about halfway down the steps.

  I shift back toward my mother. “What?”

  “He’s been shipped out on a mission.”

  “What?”

  “He’s gone.”

  “What?”

  Her voice is stoic. “He left this morning.”

  “What? No. He wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye. He would have told me.”

  “He didn’t know. It was an emergency operation.”

  “Where is he?” I ask. “Where did he go?”

  “Your father wouldn’t tell me. He couldn’t tell me anything other than that he’s gone. Apparently he volunteered for this operation a f
ew months back and assumed he hadn’t been chosen. He got a knock on the door this morning telling him to report for duty.”

  “What?” I don’t know why I keep saying that but it’s all that’s circling around in my head. “He would have told me. He would have called. He wouldn’t have just left.”

  “He wouldn’t have had a choice.” My mother is trying to be consoling. Instead of the usual clipped tone she uses with me, her voice is low and steady. It’s condescending.

  “Did Dad have a part in this? Is this your way of making sure I never have a life?” My voice rises steadily. “I finally find something normal, something real, and you take it away. He wouldn’t just leave like that. He told me….”

  He told me what? That I could trust him?

  He never promised I wouldn’t be alone or that he would never have to leave. In fact, he said himself that he promised his country another year.

  I sink down the stairs and drop my head onto the railing.

  “How long will he be gone?” I mumble, already steeling myself for the worst. What if I never see him again? I have less than eight months before I’m a Taken Eighteen. The Revealed probably won’t wait that long.

  My mother knows what I’m really asking. She comes and sits down next to me, gently putting a hand on my knee, and I know she won’t be able to tell me anything.

  Kai is gone.

  What if I’m taken before he gets back?

  Two hundred and thirty-six days until I’m nineteen. That means 236 days of opportunity The Revealed have left to take my life.

  “I’m gonna get some air.” I stand and my mother’s touch drops.

  She just nods.

  Usually being outside helps clear my thoughts. But today, it doesn’t stop them from spinning.

  I walk down to the gardens.

  The sun is setting around me.

  I imagine Kai and myself at dinner, sitting tucked away in a dark corner on an outdoor patio. I don’t know where he was planning on taking me, but in my mind it was a place like this. Where we could just be teenagers on a date and no one would know our names.

  Then my thoughts drift to the last time I saw him. The way he held my face and stared into my eyes was more intimate than our kiss. I try to remember everything about his face and his expression then. The determination that burned gold beneath the green in his eyes. The way his jaw held firm, not taking no for an answer. And the gentle way his hands held my face, imploring me to just let go and say yes.

  If that’s the last time I ever see him, will it be enough? When I’m gone, will he tell people that he was grateful for just those few days? Or will he be angry he didn’t get any more?

  A light breeze kicks up around my face.

  I shut my eyes tightly.

  The breeze becomes stronger, lifting the ends of my hair. It moves through the garden, and I can hear it swaying in patterns. It twists around the plants, taking on a life of its own. It swells around me as though it’s coming from the center of the garden itself.

  It flaps loudly against the branches, bending and twisting the vines, making them scream for mercy.

  Yet, no dirt or debris hits my face.

  Nothing but the gust of wind blows around.

  It happens so suddenly, within a matter of seconds.

  My eyes snap open.

  The wind dies instantly, and the vines drop around me with a sudden plunk as they hit the dirt.

  Everything around me is still.

  I stand and spin in a circle.

  “Hello?”

  It feels like someone is watching me.

  Am I crazy? Because I could have sworn that the vines from the plants around me were floating, hovering in the air like the wind was manipulating them.

  “Hello?”

  I didn’t realize that twilight had crept into the sky, and it’s suddenly hard to see.

  I tense but don’t wait any longer. I sprint back to the house. A quick glance over my shoulder makes me shudder.

  The wind has gone completely, making the silence even more overbearing.

  It’s too quiet. Unnaturally so.

  I run around the corner of the house and collide with an “oomph” into a pillowy, broad chest. It’s Darren, Jeremy’s overeager second-in-command.

  “Ms. Atwood.” He braces me with his hands, surprised. Then he looks me over. His eyes widening at the sight of my little black dress. “Where are you off to in such a hurry? Can I help you with something?”

  I shake my head, glancing back over my shoulder. “I just thought I saw … or I mean heard …,” I can’t bring myself to articulate any sort of crazy explanation for what I experienced in the garden. “I’m fine,” I sigh, “just being paranoid.” I try to laugh it off, but goose bumps are still raised on my arms.

  “Makes sense.” He grins, revealing his crooked teeth. “Want me to escort you inside?”

  I shake my head. “I’m fine.”

  “Well let me assure you, the premises are clear. No one is getting on this property without us approving it first.” He stands a little straighter, as if that helps prove his point.

  “Right,” I say, and I don’t hide the hesitation in the word. I know Darren is just trying to be comforting, but his efforts feel useless in light of the black notes.

  I glance back over my shoulder once more and head inside.

  CHAPTER TEN

  I’ve been going outside.

  My mother’s not pleased about it. Neither is my father, but he hasn’t been around enough to make an issue of it. And my mother realizes it’s a useless battle at this point. Her only other option would be to tie me to a chair. I think she would, except she’d be worried the press would find out, and that wouldn’t look too good for the campaign.

  My father’s been living at his office. He sleeps there most nights. He’s hot on the campaign trail—ahead in the polls and determined to stay there. My mother goes and visits him, brings him lunch that Ilan cooks.

  The election occupies little thought in my mind.

  I think about Kai. I wonder where he is, what he’s doing. But more than thinking about Kai, I think about that drive we took before he left. The unspoken words about continuing on the road and never looking back. I wish we had. I play it over in my mind, imagining what it would have been like if we had just continued on the freeway. I imagine we could have reached the West Coast. I would take the wastelands any day over this.

  I sit in my room for the rest of the morning, into early afternoon, trying to get homework done. I barely get through two problems. My pencil just hangs there, suspended between my fingers and forgotten amidst the other thoughts flying through my mind.

  Finally, I close the book and grab for the car keys.

  My mother is just walking in the door as I breeze past her.

  “I’m going out!” I call over my shoulder.

  “Excuse me?” She turns, dropping the shopping bags in her hands. “Lily,” my mother says, walking to the entryway. She stops and puts her hand on her hip. She looks like she is in the mood to fight.

  But instead she sighs. “You’re going whether I put up a fight or not, aren’t you?”

  “Yes,” I nod. I’m done with staying indoors. “And I’m a legal adult so you can’t stop me and if you try to kick me out of the house, it’ll only look bad for your campaign.”

  My mother sighs. “It isn’t the campaign I’m worried about, Lily.”

  “I know you’re afraid, Mom.” I take a couple steps toward her. “I’m afraid, too. But keeping me here isn’t doing anything. Let’s be real, they crashed your gala without so much as a hitch. I’m not any safer here. You have to let me go.”

  “I don’t ever want to let you go,” she says in a rare moment of affection. It surprises me. Then she purses her lips in an attempt at composure. “Will you at least take Jeremy with you?”

  “Deal.” I reach for the door and head outside before she can change her mind.

  Jeremy is standing on the porch at his p
ost.

  “Come on, chief,” I say, and nod my head at him. “Mom says if I want to leave, you have to come, so hopefully you don’t mind a road trip?”

  He clears his throat. “Where to?”

  “The gym.”

  I don’t mind that he comes with me, really. Jeremy is pretty cool despite the fact that he’s my father’s watchdog. But he lets me drive and doesn’t try to dictate where I go.

  “How’s the gala investigation?” I ask.

  “Pretty much over,” he says dryly. “There isn’t any evidence.”

  “Like always,” I sigh. “I’m a sitting duck.”

  He laughs lightly, which catches me off guard. I glance over at the easy way he smiles.

  “It isn’t funny,” I tell him, though a smile plays at my lips—mostly because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him laugh like this. “You have no idea what it’s like—feeling like at any moment someone’s going to snatch you away. I can’t trust anyone.”

  “You seem to trust Kai Westerfield.” Suddenly his tone drops back to … I dunno … it sounds like concern.

  “Maybe.” I glance out over the road and rest my hand on my forehead. “Not that it matters anymore.”

  “Two hands on the wheel,” Jeremy prompts.

  I give him a wry look but clutch the wheel at ten and two, mockingly.

  “Actually,” he tells me, “you’re supposed to hold it at nine and three. Gives you a wider turn radius if you have to swerve, plus if your airbag deploys being positioned at nine and three will protect your hands from damage.”

  I slip my grip down but feel awkward about it.

  “So this is what they teach soldiers, huh?” I drop one hand.

  “You have no idea what they teach us.” His voice is suddenly cold, and I find myself swallowing limply. Did I offend him? Did I say something wrong?

  “I’m sorry,” I mumble.

  And suddenly his face flattens. He shakes his head. “You have no reason to be.”

  We drive the rest of the way in silence. It’s almost fall now and the leaves are just beginning to brown.

  I drive into the small parking lot at the back of the gym.

  Working out with Elias has become somewhat of a respite for me. It helps to calm my nerves and get out some of the frustration. It gives me time to think. Mostly about Kai. I haven’t seen him in over a month. I imagine what he’s doing right then as I’m throwing my fists into the bag. Somehow my mind always drifts to him with a weapon raised high, running through the wasteland. But there aren’t any enemies in the wasteland. Both the Midwest and West were entirely deserted after the war. There was too much damage and too few people to occupy the space. Everyone who survived moved to the Eastern Coast, which was relatively undisturbed—as undisturbed as possible in a nuclear war.